A report on February

Lessons on fun and work, and planting the seeds for what's next

Hey there, dear friends! This year, I’ve been trying out something new — reports on the months and their themes, and how they went for me. And of course, you’re reading this is mid-March; I published the January report at the end of that month, and but have been dragging my feet on this one.

February is a strange month full of contradictions. January is one of optimism, hope, and resolutions; one where I’m flying high and looking forward to what’s next. And once we get to February, we have a feeling of oh sh*t, I actually have to do things. No one is going to be responsible for fulfilling our dreams for us; we are the ones that need to take the action.

When it came to my February, it was busy. I hate using “busy” as an excuse, but the sheer number of things happening meant I didn’t prioritize the reflection that I wanted. That perpetuated the anxiety of not moving the needle on the things I wanted. Which puts us well into March and well — I see how folks get disillusioned by their resolutions right about now.

When I crafted my themes for this year’s creative year, I defined February in the following way:

February

• Spinning realism established in January with loftier ideas. Get clear on what your intentions are beyond the tactical goals.

• Not blowing up your goals or intentions, but ensuring they are what you want; that you are setting sights high. Being audacious while setting your sights on what you can actually control. Not creating too much, or getting distracted by others’ expectations.

• Outcome: a balanced idea of what’s to come. Understanding the push and the pull; both what we’re realistically capable of and the big intentions we aim to embody.

January is a big month full of plotting and planning; January is a realistic month (what can I achieve? What can I get done this year?) but it’s also pretty lofty — setting the big goals. In the cycle of creativity, it’s about ideating. But once we get into February, well — that feels like the real world. We actually have to put pen to paper and suss out how it’s actually going to work.

February felt audacious, yes. But it also reframed for me how much I’ve made my creative ways of being about doing. Just like everyone, I’ve set big goals for myself this year about making all the things, writing good stuff, fulfilling my creative goals. And if February taught me anything, it’s that real life is busy.

A lot of my goals involve doing focused work, by myself. And that’s not what life is like a lot of the time. It’s made me realize I’ve made a lot of room for work in my life, but not a lot of room for the fun. February was a month that was filled with a lot of doing, but I know not every month can be this way. And a lot of good stuff happened that I want to celebrate in my creative journey:

• Therapy dogging. My dog Gail and I got certified as a therapy dog team last year, and we completed four events together just this month! We are getting on the schedule at some local places and it’s been a joy to guide her through this journey.

• Enneagram workshops. I also became a certified Enneagram coach last year, and have pushed myself to teach some workshops over the last few months, including two this last month.

• Teaching yoga. I subbed two yoga classes this month, after four (!) years out of the saddle. It was a joy and a little stressful and really lit me up (I still don’t love making playlists, though).

• Wrapping up a yearlong class. On the learning side, I’ve been working on a longer term class since August of last year that will be wrapping up in May. We’re heading into the final push of work and I feel grateful and excited for how this is dovetailing into what’s next.

• Growing a human and the organization that comes along with that. Oh yeah, I’m having a baby in May! That’s been a physical and mental feat (more on that in a separate love note), and this past month was full of mental and physical organization for what’s next.

This month was also marked by a fun, weeklong trip. In my journey of awareness, I know I can’t snap right back from these trips; it takes a day or two of reintegration. Things that are out of my routine — whether that’s a trip, visitors, being busier than normal — take mindfulness to integrate. If I add something, I inevitably need to take something out.

And perhaps that what I’m getting at — that I haven’t been taking enough out. I’ve been mindful about what I want to not do. Sometimes this takes form in automating or outsourcing (see: getting a robot vacuum, using an accountant to do my taxes, hiring a house cleaner), but there’s also things I realize I just don’t want to do. There’s a quote about the fact that in life, we can do whatever we want, but we can’t do it all. And in a world where I want to make real progress on things, it means I need to let some things go.

I am the type of person who loves to say “yes,” to whatever I find fun and exciting. But it might not align with what I want. Earlier in the year, I let go of my gym membership. I liked the gym, but it was turning into an obligation I wasn’t committed to. I let go of a volunteer leadership opportunity I no longer had capacity for. I said no to a trip that I wanted to take, but wasn’t my biggest priority.

I spent January of this year establishing what I wanted this year to look like. I spent February taking action. As I step into March, I’m feeling a bit burnt out and exhausted. I want to take my time. I want to do a little less. I want to get even more clear on not only what I want to do in this year to come, but how I want to feel — the mood I am to create in my everyday life, and how I can step into that life I desire.

The biggest thing coming up for me is that I need to say “no” more often. “No” to opportunities (even if they sound good), “no” to commitments that are, indeed, commitments, even if they sound lightweight at first. “No” is a full sentence, and it protects my peace. Because even if I’m not doing anything, I often need time to sit outside and stare at the sunset, to disconnect from my phone, to turn on the TV and chill a bit, to read, to serve myself. Room for less work and more fun. And that’s just as important as something flashier or more exciting.

My theme for this year is metamorphosis, and I have this quote by the spiritual teacher Ram Dass hanging on my wall, which is all about that shift:

"It's a little more like the image of a caterpillar enclosing itself in a cocoon in order to go through the metamorphosis to emerge as a butterfly. The caterpillar doesn't say: 'well now. I'm going to climb into this cocoon and come out a butterfly.' It's just an inevitable process. It's inevitable. It's just happening. It's got to happen that way." — Ram Dass

For what’s coming next, perhaps this is something to continue to embody. That change will keep occurring, and we can’t be in control of it all. That it will happen, but we can purposefully plant the seeds.

It rings in my head that this season of winter isn’t necessarily about planting our seeds for the year; it’s about figuring out what we want to plant. We are not behind. We have time. We are just beginning.

---

So, what’s coming next? In my themes for this year’s creative year, I charted March as looking like the following:

March

• March comes in with a burst of inspiration and energy; more sunlight, temperatures are beginning to warm. We tune into what’s around us, observing changes and basking in where we are.

• We spent the last two months getting clear on what we hope to achieve, plotting and planning. March is a bridge to begin putting plans into action. As we start taking action, how does it feel, what can we observe? As time and energy speeds up, how can we take it in stride to make things happen?

• Outcome: tuning into ourselves as we begin to take action. what feels good, and what doesn’t? how can we make shifts to honor ourselves?

At the end of winter, we have a solid plan for our creative work; we know it will truly honor ourselves.

---

Of course, we’re halfway through March. I’m not really planning on creating goals for this month, since I did some overloading on my plate last month. It’s a good time to settle in and see what’s coming next, to honor the seeds we’ve planted and make any final tweaks.

The spring equinox and Aries season is coming around the bend next week, ushering in a blooming and (welcome) change. Let us meet it with grace and open arms.

Til then (and thanks for reading the rambles today),

Anna