On daring to want more
Welcome to the weekly Friday Afternoon newsletter!
Welcome to the Fairly Alarmed weekly newsletter! I might call this FAFA — Friday Afternoon with Fairly Alarmed.
Yes, you read that right — we have a weekly newsletter coming to y’all. I tend to build up my writing and create a lot of pressure for myself, so this will be coming at y’all weekly to give myself a deadline, to give y’all some good content. The weekly newsletter will contain some or all of the following:
- A reflection on a topic around creativity, cycles, rest, and/or rethinking traditional ways of doing things
- A moodboard and/or forecast for upcoming weekly vibes
- Creative ideas, prompts, and/or content I’m digging and think you might too
Enjoy!
You don’t “deserve” anything. You should have whatever you desire.
A few days ago, I was sketching on my iPad with my Apple Pencil when I noticed that the nib was getting worn down. My first thought was, “I haven’t done anything worthwhile to wear this down so much.”
I bought an iPad and Apple Pencil to sketch, and to keep notes in a paper-friendly and organized way. These tools have helped me be both 1) more creative, and 2) more organized. I use my iPad most days, and it’s become one of my favorite tools, and one that goes most places with me.
However, it’s not a tool that makes me more money, or inherently increases my value as a creative. Because of the productivity culture we live in, this fact causes an itch to start at the back of my brain that is difficult to stop.
There’s an idea in our society that we have to “deserve” things. I do it all the time, and I see other folks do it too. The feeling of deserving pops up in a couple ways:
Feeling like you have to complete an action in order to deserve something else. This can be as innocuous as “I don’t deserve more food because I’ve eaten as much as I normally do,” or as serious as “I don’t deserve fulfillment because of of my life circumstances.”
Feeling like because you completed an action, you deserve what’s next. This can be as innocuous as, “Because I did a lot of work today, I deserve to rest tonight,” and as serious as, “I’ve done all this work on myself, so I deserve the thing I want.”
Of course, there’s always instances where you can’t have what you want — often because of money, or limiting life circumstances. But if the path is paved for you to obtain what you want, the problem with this mindset is that life isn’t that simple. One plus one doesn’t always equal two in real life — we all have different lives, and lived experiences. We also don’t need to do a dang thing to deserve more.
There’s this beautiful song from the band Bleachers called How dare you want more, whose title sums up a lot of my thoughts around deserving things. We’ve been taught that we need to work to deserve something; that the steps we take unlock something that’s next. And sure, sometimes that happens. But quite a bit, it doesn’t.
I got an iPad and Apple Pencil because I wanted to sketch. And dang, I love the joy that it brings me, and how organized it makes me feel. How dare I want more? I’m adding those new Apple Pencil nibs to my cart, and I can’t wait to make more magic — even if it’s just for me.
This week’s vibes: summer solstice; Cancer szn; and the lazy hazy days of summer.
What’s on the docket for a the week ahead? Quite a bit!
Summer solstice (the longest day of the year and official start to summer) was Wednesday, June 21; this is also the start to Cancer season, which lasts through July 23.
This is a big energetic shift into a more actionable, intimate, and emotional time of the year. Shifting from big-picture Gemini season to Cancer can be a rocky road sometimes, because the energy is more actionable. It’s time to get sh*t done, but that can be uncomfortable.
It’s also that weird time of year when it’s hot as heck and feeling a bit sluggish. We celebrated Juneteenth this week, and the Fourth of July is coming up in just a few. It’s a celebratory time, and a time to get out and have some fun.
I put together a moodboard for this week, which focuses on energetic neons, water-oriented motifs, flowy shapes, and some badass photos of Australian salterns. I wanted to split the difference between calm and actionable energies, and capture that lazy hazy summer feeling.
What vibes are you hoping to bring into the week ahead?
Creative content to explore.
This section contains content I’ve been loving. I split it up into inspiring, reflective, and restful content.Whether you’re in a reflective or action-taking mood, here’s some fun ways to make things happen this week.
Inspiring — content that might inspire you or give you ideas for what you want to create.
I watched Shooting Stars last week, the LeBron James-produced film about his high school experience. It was wholesome and entertaining, and is a cool perspective on creativity through physical artistry.
No big spoilers, but there’s a scene where a high school basketball player realizes he’ll never make it pro, and he gets some wise advice that life doesn’t always wind out the way you aimed or imagined, but you can still follow your goals and intentions in a different way.
It’s a wise reminder to not get too attached to outcomes, even in your biggest goals. You can’t control everything — like injuries, or fame, or how you’ll be judged or perceived. You can control what you want to feel.
Arnold’s Pump Club. This post discussed the dopamine benefits of the creative work of making art. Spoiler alert — making art is good for your brain and well-being.
Greg McKeown’s HBR article about burnout. The more work we pile on folks, the faster they get burnt out — even if that “work” is fun stuff. Rest is important, and we need to take breaks, especially while we’re working.
Reflective — thought provoking content that can help you plan, intention set, or set the course for what’s next.
A few pieces of content about weekly partner check ins, which is a goal of mine to implement in our household. This reel and this Twitter thread.
Everything Amy McNee shares on her Instagram, which I recently discovered. These five reminders for a burnt out creative are especially resonant.
Restful — content to keep it chill.
The new Project Runway season premiered last week. This season is an all-star season, and realizing that I recognize some of these folks from seasons that aired 15 (!) years ago is absolutely wild. I’ve always admired Project Runway for how it makes a largely solitary creative process feel collaborative and interactive, and this season is no different.
The new seasons of …And Just Like That and The Bear premiere this week. We’re full on into summer TV and I’m here for it. The Bear is a bit more prestige (and will likely fill the Succession-sized hole in my heart for a bit), and …And Just Like That is a guilty pleasure, both of which feel necessary. It’s splitting true rest and fun with something a bit more thought-provoking.
I’ve also picked up a few new books from this incredible bookstore, Legacy Bookstore in Silver Spring, Maryland. I can’t wait to dive into Memphis by Tara M. Stringfellow, and The Girls in Queens by Christine Kandic Torres.
That’s it for this Friday Afternoon with Fairly Alarmed! I sure hope you enjoyed, and we’ll see ya next Friday, June 30!